Relocating to Avalon

Just short fragments - I am up north around the Huntsville area, and am in the company of some women.  Adrienne is among them, but we're having a hard time connecting.  Eventually we do get close enough to hug each other fiercely, much to the cheering of all the women there.  She tells me that she wants to have me move up to Avalon (the name for the property), as she will be moving elsewhere.  I am very tempted, but know that without a vehicle I wouldn't be able to survive.

A telephone rings somewhere, and I am told it's for me.  I take the receiver and I hear a male voice telling me that there will be a lot of jobs available for me - even the temporary assignments will be plentiful.  At that moment, I make up my mind, and announce that yes, I will be relocating, pending me getting my license renewed, and getting a vehicle.  Everyone again  cheers loudly.  I keep getting glimpses of a small red car, but I know this belongs to Adrienne.

Inside myself, I feel panic set in, but I push it away.  I tell myself that I will not allow myself to be overcome by it again, and make firm plans to take driving lessons again, if neccessary, to achieve this goal.


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Oh, I also recall that two nights ago, I dreamed of a gray kitten slapping me across the face with her paw and laughing deeply in a very human way.  I wish I could recall the context.

SEVERE WEATHER WARNING

I am in a hotel for a conference of some sort.  There are many people and booths around me and I am particularly drawn to a series of tables that contain beautiful gold jewellery.  These tables look more like gypsy caravans and are all strung together in such a way that one can walk right through them from the inside.  

The overhead announcement system comes on, and we are told that some very severe weather is being tracked coming our way, in the form of a series of blizzards.  Some people immediately begin to pack up and leave, but most of us think that staying put is the better idea.  The hotel is very happy with our decision and the staff begins to make arrangements for extra food, linens, candles and other emergency supplies.

I go outside into the beautiful garden grounds.  It is night and to my surprise, I find my ex-husband sitting at one of the benches with his current wife.  We politely greet each other and are joined by my youngest son.  I look up at the clouds that are sailing by, and the brilliant stars behind them.  I tell my ex to look there, to really look and see "what's behind the clouds".  He does, but somehow misses the wonder and beauty of the cosmos.  "There is no moon", he suddenly remarks, almost in a panic.  "Shouldn't there be moonlight?"  I respond, "No, there is no Moon out tonight, because She is in Her Dark phase.  It is as it should be."  

I walk away, saddened that such simple knowledge should be lost on him, and join another group of people who are on top of a hill, overlooking a valley of twinkling lights.  And in the horizon, against the sky, is the leading edge of the storm.  The world and the sky just disappear as the curve of cloud and snow seems to swallow it all up.  We look at each other and without another word, head back to the hotel to hunker down.  As we walk, I think of the movie "Day After Tomorrow", and the first winds strike us.

The last image I recall is of us trying to make inroads and paths in the huge mountains of snow in the world that has turned totally crystalline white against the deep blue sky.

BECOMING A NUN AND RUNNING FROM MONSTERS

Of course, there is no doubt that this dream was influenced in part by ne watching "The Nun's Story" last night.  This is a lovely movie done in 1956 and starring Audrey Hepburn.

I am sleeping in a strange bed, and am awakened by someone rushing me with open arms (as in a glomp).  I am momentarily startled, and when I finally gather my wits enough to pull back, I find myself looking into the beaming face of my Sister, Adrienne.  I return the embrace, and then am flooded with memories of my investiture into a convent.  My hand flies to my short hair, and I look at the plain cotton white nightgown I am wearing.  Adrienne is wearing the same garment. 

"We're nuns now", I exclaim, but even as I do so, I realize that it's a different kind of convent, one that would never allow such contact and exhubarance.  I look out the window, which faces a beautiful large wooded garden, and a river running through it.  Along the path, I see other women - some in solitary contemplation, some chatting in groups.  The statuary adorning the garden is of various Goddesses.  Before I actually get out of bed, I am again embraced by Adrienne in a very sensual manner.  "But this is definately not your usual convent," she responds.

The dream shifts and I now find myself in a large city mall.  There is something happening in the main atrium, and I hurry to that spot.  I am still wearing the long white robe, and recall with deep pleasure my time at the "convent", and the anticipation of returning there.  But now, I am here in the city, and I stop for a moment to feel the bustling energies of all the activities around me.  

I look in the small pouch I have with me, and am releived to see I brought a little bit of money with me (I see maybe 3 five-dollar bills, because I remember the blue colour), enough for a tea and a sandwich, and go to a food stall to place my order.  The lady serving me is a plump, middle aged motherly type, and she fusses over my order, making sure it is absolutely right.  Before she could finish, we hear a large roar of appreciation from the growing crowd.  We hurry to join everyone else, and I see a man dressed in a dark suit, all ready to do some sort of show.  I am surprised to also see that he has three lions with him, who are sitting placidly behind him, but totally unrestrained by cages, or even leashes.  There is a table in front of the man, and upon it is a large glass fish-tank, which is filled with multi-coloured tiny creatures.  There is something about them that's disturbing, as though they're really not entirely from this world.  

Indeed, they begin to visibly grow, and soon outgrow the tank.  Now the crowd is nervous, and many are turning away and leaving quickly.  The man is also startled, and unable to keep things under control.  His lions are now prowling and agitated.  More people leave, and by the time I turn rapidly away and start running, the monsters are now running amok.  I make it outside and continue running...

• 
  

REUNIONS AND GIANT PUPPETS

I am in a small house that I sense is mine.  It's cozy, filled with books and plants and a large sunny kitchen.  I am making some tea when the door opens and a man with a young girl comes in, asking for help.  I am shocked speechless for a minute, and then am shocked some more becase I recognize him as my favorite author, Steve Donaldson!  He looks more like he did back in the late 1980's, having shaved the beard he's recently been wearing.  With that recognition, I am flooded with all sorts of emotions - love, guilt, pleasure - and quickly invite them to sit and be comfortable.

Steve and I begin talking and I ask him who the girl is.  All he says is that "she's a god-sent angel", and with this I realize that she's his daughter.  She's about 15, with long dark brown hair, tied plainly back, large dark eyes in a thin face.  There's a serious look to her, and she immediately busies herself serving us, in spite of my objections.  It gives her such pleasure to do this, that I do not object for long.  

Our conversation continues about his books and he laughingly tells me that he's now finished writing, that a new passion has taken over, and while I can't truly understand it, I'm told it has something to do with large-scale gardening and cars. "I have one book that's being published soon, and that's the last one of the series, and also the last one, period.  That's enough to last me", he tells me.  I feel sadness hearing this, but as always, I find myself drawn to him, and recognize again that I love him so deeply that it transcends all time and space, that he doesn't need to know about it, but somehow that love is always around him, keeping him safe and secure. 

I woke up at this point, with a strong ache in my heart, but also very happy at being able to spend any kind of time with him.  

My dreams continue - there is something to do with a baby boy.  Now I am in a very old fashioned apartment and it is full of people, much like an old-world family reunion with all the relatives.  This little baby boy is the center of attention, being passed from one set of arms to another.  Things grow fuzzy here, but I do recall saying that his diaper needs changing, and taking him away to do just that.

The scene shifts and now this apartment is much larger, and it's some years later.  The little boy is now grown up into a toddler and once again the place is full of people.  This time, there's a very festive atmosphere here, with a lot of streamers of bright colours (a birthday party, perhaps?).  We all seem to be waiting for something major to happen, and suddenly, from one of the rooms, a parade begins - giant puppets, very oriental in design, begin marching through, led by someone who is familiar to me, but whom I can't immediately identify.  Suddenly, I remember - it's Hoojung Jones, a Korean woman with whom I used to work and volunteer at the Hamilton Folk Arts Heritage Council!!  She is dressed in brilliant red costume with a huge hat that's trimmed with gold and green.

Everyone in the apartment goes wild with applause and appreciation for this performance!

And then, again I woke up!

AFTERNOON IN THE PARK

Just a very brief snippet from last night - I am in a beautiful lush park. It is high summer with the perfect temperature, golden sun, emerald foliage and gentle breeze. The park is full of people just wandering through, and many, many young girls dressed in beautiful long dresses - much like bridesmaids or prom dresses - with full skirts and in pastel colours, and most of them have very pretty matching parasols. Some are having their photos taken. I watch them chase each other like butterflies or fairies across the lawn, enjoying their beauty and feminine bloom of Maiden personified.

WITCH TRIAL, ALIEN SEX, AND MINOR ANNOYANCE

These were three distinct dreams, and I remembered each one as I woke up several times throughout the night.  WARNING - contains some adult and graphic content:

Dream 1 - Witch Trial

At first, I think I'm at an SCA event.  Everyone is in garb and the hall is full of long wooden tables and bright banners.  But there is something different - it's too real!  And I realize that somehow I'm transported to a medeival feast hall.  Although I too am dressed in garb, it's just doesn't seem to fit.  Suddenly, I hear trumpets, and am escorted to the head table, and specifically, to a very imposing man.  He is the king and I have been brought to trial because of the pentagram I am wearing. He leans over and grasps it, and I am overwhelmed with fear that the cord will cut into the back of my neck (the pentagram is on a thick cord that is knotted at the back, and cannot rip easily), but to my surprise, it comes off without problem.  The King holds it angrily aloft while accusing me of being a witch.

Instead of being scared, I feel calm.  There is no doubt that I will be put to death, and I actually find this amusing.  I step back with confidence and laugh softly.  I say to the King that he is a weakling because if he found out in truth who I am, his heart would give out!  As I say this, I am flooded with memories of my life in the 21st century, knowing that I will come back to live them all over again.

Dream 2 - Alien Sex

I am in a large medical facility that is on an alien world.  It is very large, stark white, very little furniture except what is needed to get work done.  I know that there are other sections and wings here that are different, but I have not seen them.  I am here as a visitor, and I'm doing some research on the indigenous life that is of this world.  The life form here is humanoid, and at first glance may have passed for humans.  I am told that there are certain expirements going on (yes, the cliche here was not lost on me even in the dream!), and I am taken to that wing.  

Here things look different.  The walls are of beautiful rich deep colours, there are sheer curtains hung at odd angles that give the illusion of something beautiful being hidden behind each one, lush rugs and yes, soft beds.  I am told by a clinician that is accompanying me something of these alians - sex brings out different metaphysical gifts in them.  The females begin to breathe out a thick white vapour upon which is written future events (much like fortune cookies), and the males - but then we enter a room where the three males are standing, receiving oral sex from human women, and as they do so, their penises come off, much as though they're just (pardon the pun) screwed into their bodies.  The males then seem to (again, pardon the pun) plug into a higher conscionsness that is very technical - like they become part of a super computer.  I am watching all this with fascination and become aware of a young man with a very sophisticated laptop sitting next to me.  He smiles, and the next thing I know, he is holding my hand.  "It's difficult to watch all this sex going on without becoming aroused", he says.  I respond that while it's difficult, it may not be appropriate, especially considering the difference in our ages.  He gives me a look that indicates that he is far older than his years - indeed, he is ancient!  This is very unsettling to me, but we do not persue this any further.

Eventually, I am called  into another room by a very tall, statuesque woman who is dressed like a dominetrix in black and purple leather corset and skirt.  As she sits down at her desk, I see she has three perfectly formed breasts laced up in that bodice and before I can recover, I hear her laugh as she sees my reaction.  She tells me that yes, this is another trait of the females on this world.

Damned if I didn't have to wake up at this point!!

Dream 3 - Minor Annoyance

I am with a man who in some way is my superior at work.  The environment has a military feel to it.  I am arguing with this man that I am now running out of time and need to get something important done.  He tells me not to worry, he'll take care of it in a minute.  He just needs to go into a meeting and take care of something else first.  I am totally exhasperated say without his authorization I cannot do my job.  At this point a woman enters carrying a case of CD's.  She says that these are needed for the meeting, leaves the case and both she and the man walk into another board room that is already full of men in uniform.  

I feel beyond annoyed, I am now angry at such incompetance, and taking all the neatly stacked disks, I shatter them with a heavy object, and scatter them all over the desk and leave the office, telling myself that I can damn well take care of the situation on my own. 

A FASHION SHOW

So last night I had this dream:  I am with a group of people who are laying down a red carpet outside.  Inside, the building is old, rather run-down and certainly not in any a theatre.  This puzzles me, but I just go along with it.  Knowing that the other people are more effective in putting down the carpet than I am, I explore the inside further and find a room that has a lot of outfits in it - not quite costumes, but very nice, complete outfits of various styles.  I am immediately seized with a desire to do a fashion show and at the same time I understand that these all came from a certain second-hand shop.  


It doesn't take much to organize everything, and I run outside to tell someone.  The first person I speak to is a young man who  tells me that the event is actually going to take place outside, and indeed I see the tables and chairs being set up on either side of the red carpet.  There are also large umbrellas for shade and large potted plants.  Soon the property is beautifully arranged to entertain a large group in an elegant yet casual manner.


I speak excitedly to the young man and tell him my plans.  Another organization that is looking for a fundraiser could provide people to be models, the second hand store from where the outfits came (including a beautiful wedding dress) would get recognized, and the guests at this event would be the perfect audience and donors to a very worthy cause!  The entire plan gets put into motion very quickly.


In the way of dreams, things blur and fast forward.  I am now "backstage", in that frantic wonderful world of assisting everyone into their outfits and keeping everything running smoothly.  The young girl is resplendent in the wedding gown, and is ready to go out there and bring the grand finale to a wildly successful event.  She steps out onto the red carpet to loud applause and appreciation of the audience...

Conspiracy Theory

I am working with a woman and suddenly find myself drawn into some kind of a secret organization.  At different times, I find myself on my knees and hands behind my head while rifles are aimed at me, at a large glass-topped lighted table full of documents, maps and photographs, and escorting people into closed-door meetings.  At one stage, I meet my son, and taking his jacket.  I feel the pockets and know that there's quite a bit money.  I give the jacket a shake and he smiles as we hear the jingle of coins.  I tell him to make sure to secure the pokets, because money has a way of jumping from one poket to another.  We laugh and he takes care of this.

 A man, obviously a soldier in thi organization, comes up to me and tells me that we are going on a trip.  He has an intricate sketch in his hands which he asks me to roll up and bring along.  We get into a very small car and drive through downtown Hamilton.  At one point he manuvers the vehicle through a steep narrow ramp that's full of packed sharp ice.  I do not think the car will make it, but somehow it does.  We end up going up the stairs into a large open-concept loft office, where we are met by another woman.  He hands her the rolled up drawing which she spreads onto a long table; after examining it, she adds another drawing to it, and I now see that it's a blueprint for a revolutionary building complex.  I sense that this is for a new headquarters.  He then says to her that this new proceedure of getting instructions directly from her is much easier than going through the chain of command that is now in place - so much more work can be done now.  I somehow ense that certain protocols were bypassed here - conspiracy within conspiricy - but I can say nothing.  Within this organization, I am still under guard and probation. 

Meeting an Old Friend, Shopping for Clothes...

Last night I had some dreams (so good to have them return!). Here's what I can remember:

I'm at some social gathering on a beautiful patio-garden. People are milling about with drinks in their hands, all dressed for the occasion, and the conversations are bright and intelligent. Someone asks me if I recognize any body among the guests, and while looking around I spot someone I do indeed know - my friend, Richard, from the east coast. He is sitting at one of the round tables with a young woman. I am very surprised to see that it's not his wife but a former girlfriend. I sense, however, that this is a chance meeting for them, and they're catching up on old times. I wave and make my way to their table, because I too would like to catch up with my friends.

The dream sort of blurs here and now I find myself with some women at a department store. There are many great bargains around, but I am struck by one stunning woman, tall, slender and dark-haired, who is modeling some outfits. It is obvious that they are done by the same designer (perhaps her?) since they are all in dark gray wool - skirts, long and elegant, sweaters with large shawl collars, all knitted in large cable stitch. I think how truly beautiful these items are and go to see if there is anything in my size...

ASTRAL FLING WITH A FRIEND

I am absolutely delighted!!! When I got up a while ago, I had no memory of this and suddenly there it was! It happened around 4:30 a.m. I woke up and had a hard time falling back asleep.

I sit up at one point, and suddenly realized that part of is was still lying down. I giggle as I realize I am awake, but in a different way. Not wasting another second, I launch myself out and drift through into the living room, and then out onto the balcony and off towards the mountain to the south.

For a while I just drift around the trees and eventually find myself in a large house. It's full of young people. They're all chatting away, walking around with drinks in their hands - it's not quite a party, but a nice social gathering. I sense a purpose for their meeting like this.

Then I see someone I know! Julie E. is there and she sees me!! I change my density and approach her and we hug. I tell her that I'm just floating around and somehow ended up here. At this stage we find ourselves upstairs and I just launch myself off the banister, laughing. Julie looks at me in disbelief and then suddenly says, "teach me how to do this!" I tell her that I'm in the astral and am not sure if this will work on a physical level, but I will try.

Once again at the top of the stairs, I am about to demonstrate my abilities again when I see the other people have noticed us. One of them, an older man with a short gray beard, and dressed in a light brown suit, comes to the bottom of the stairs and pushes a button on a nearby wall. The stairs begin to shift, and become a steep ramp. Everyone is waiting with eager anticipation to see my performance.

"It's easy," I tell Julie, "all you have to do is let go, just let yourself go." And with that I step off into the air and begin my aerial stunts. Julie wants to do the same and almost follows me, but at the last second draws back.

With one final smile, and look around I seem to dissolve out of the house and find myself waking up some hours later.

Dream - Fitness Boot Camp and Sari Wraps

It's been a very, very long time since I've posted a dream. For a while it felt as though the dreams would never come back. But finally, finally I had some last night! Two of them, actually, because I remember waking up after the first one - it was around 2:00 am. The second one was much later, and yet both of them were somewhat related.

I am at some fitness camp, and I appear to be the only woman there. Gender is disregarded, and we are all wakened up very early in the morning and out running through beautiful forest trails. It is early fall, with the trees all shades of green, yellow, orange, and red. Some of them have already shed all leaves, and these crunch beneath our pounding feet. I feel so alive!

Suddenly, as we go around the corner, I see something utterly amazing - a very large lake, so clear it looks as though it's not even there. Not a tinge of blue or green, just this crystal clear water that on the surface is catching the dappled golden sunlight and reflecting it like diamonds. We all begin to shed our clothes and joyously jump into the lake. But this is no fun romp. The swimming begins in earnest as we strike out on this next lap of the physical endurance. I keep close to the shore, not being all that confident of my own stamina and strength. It's so easy to see how the shelves of earth and stone shelves progress beneath the water, and I make sure I keep close to where I can easily step onto one.

The water feels amazingly cool and warm at the same time, buoyant and yielding, and I find I'm slicing through it without any effort. And doing so, I swim towards consciousness and wake up.

The second dream starts with me being in a dormitory setting with about three other women. This is I immediately sense that we are part of a theatre troupe. I also sense that there has been a spat between two of the women the night before, and the tension is still quite strong. Nevertheless, we all talk, as only a group of women will, and things are smoothed over. Our first task is to go to the gym for a workout, and I choose to run around the gym this day. I find my stride, and soon lose myself in the rhythm.

Dream shifts and blurs, and now I find myself with not only my roommates, but others of the troupe, in Wardrobe (where else!?) being fitted out with our costumes - beautiful shimmery silk saris. We become a virtual rainbow of jewel tones - emerald green, ruby red, sapphire blue, royal purple, soft violet, rose pink, and tangerine orange, which is what I am wearing.

I recognize the significance of that colour and tell the girl next to me that I have had previous dreams of me wearing this colour. I even tell her exactly the dreams as I deftly wrap the beautiful fabric about me, expertly pleating it in front and sensually draping it across my left shoulder. I can't get enough of the feeling of raw silk flowing through my fingers, and it is with that sensation that I wake up to see the morning sun tugging at my eyelids.