I am in the presence of some men. One of them is obviously the leader. He is tall, muscular, hair and beard that is almost white, which is very striking against his dark brown skin. They are all dressed in loincloths, and the leader is holding a staff that is almost as tall as he is.
I feel that I should not be there, that this meeting is for men only, and yet I am brought in with great ceremony, the men forming an honour guard as I walk. I am told that it is necessary to initiate me into this particular group. I protest, saying that I would be breaking all the traditions that stretch back thousands of years if this occurs. It is with some sadness that they agree, but say that it is necessary, indeed, imperative that it be done. If it is not done, they will stop. I find it curious that they should use this expression, "they will stop", but I do understand the meaning.
I remember nothing of the ceremony and ritual other than being brought before the fire in the very darkest hours of the night.
Eventually, I regain consciousness and it is now day, the sun blazing above me. I am alone and I walk towards the small village where I know I will find the leader. I welcome the cool shadows the trees and huts cast, as I do the water one of the men brings me. Once again, I am taken to the leader and he asks me to sit close to him as we share a meal. He tells me that it is not yet over, and that after I rest, I must complete the ceremony by running around the parimeter of the village three times. I worry about that, because I know I don't run well, and express this concern to him. He waves it aside as inconsequential.
It is difficult, this exercise I have not done in so many years, but I push myself, and finally, more walking than running, I complete my task and collapse again by his side. It occurs to me that I do not even know his name, and once able to speak, I ask how I should address him. For some reason, I think "witchdoctor", but that does not sound right.
He looks at me, his expression as unreadable as that of a stone, and whispers it to me. It is a name of power that thrills right through me, and immediately leaves my memory. As though some peril or danger has passed, the mood suddenly lightens and now there is laughter and joy as the other men come in with more food and drink as they welcome me into their company. I look at the leader and see his face creased with a warm smile of welcome.
As part of the new dream exercise, I have chosen to speak with the Leader in my Aboriginal dream I posted a while back. I reread the dream several times, and then in a meditation, I turned my attention to what a conversation between the Leader and myself would be like. It was quite revealing.
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Me: You have a very commanding presence. I am honoured that you would speak with me.
Him: No less commanding than you are.
Me: Your staff – I cannot help but take note of it. It doesn’t have any carvings on it and yet it carries a lot of power.
Him: It’s been with me for a long, long time. But it is unimportant. I have it so I can lean on. It helps me get around. Do not get too hung up on such externals. Now ask what you really want to ask me.
Me: Why am I here? Why me? I am no one special…
Him: Is that what you think? Hmm, let me see – why you? Why not you? You seek, and you respond. You respond and we seek.
Me: Speaking in riddles here…
Him: No, no riddles, just seeing a little more deeply, perhaps, but no less than you can do.
Me: Many seek…
Him: And many respond and are responded to. It is of no consequence. It is you we are dealing with now.
Me: Where are the women and children of this village?
Him: Not here right now. Can you guess why?
Me: I think so – it’s a ceremony for men only.
Him: And…?
Me: And they have no desire – no! They have a ceremony of their own to perform!
Him: Yes
Me: So I should really be with them?
Him: No
Me: This is a mystery to me, one that I have to ponder and uncover. You say “You will stop” if I do not go through this initiation.
Him: We will stop, yes. You will stop. You need to do this.
Me: You bring me to the fire, and I remember nothing else, but I know I completed the ritual.
Fire, cleansing, clearing, burning away what is necessary, clearing the sight – Ah, I think I’m beginning to see.
Him: You need to see beyond the obvious, but you’re on the right track.
Me: Running around the village three times – that’s my Walkabout, isn’t it.
Him: Hmmm….
Me: And your name – it is now part of me. You are part of me.
Him: Yes, but my name is still my own. Your name is still yours. Now there is a new name.
Me: Another mystery, still the same mystery, but I do understand. Thank you – I am deeply grateful!
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Through this exercise I have come to realize that the male leader of this aboriginal group is truly a part of me. For a long time I have avoided the Sacred Male Energies because of certain painful experiences in the past. I have turned more and more towards the Sacred Feminine, worshipping and serving the Goddess and working with women.
The Animus, my “male side” has come forth in this dream, using the Aboriginal Dreamtime as a setting to remind me that I do indeed have access to this powerful side of me. The Leader is part of me and I of him. He tells me nothing that I don’t already know. He does remind me that I diminish myself without his presence and strength. “We will stop” – we will cease to grow without my acknowledgement of this side of me.
The Leader presented himself in a quiet manner, his strength inward, and controlled, but also so in harmony with everything around him as to appear mild and almost uncaring. His staff that I paid so much attention to, the fire, the village, the other men – all were an extension of him.
It is time for me to stop looking at externals and look deeper within myself. He and I are One – Our Names are One, and it is time that I not only acknowledge this, but learn to walk and work with the Sacred Masculine, and men in general. It is time that I emerged as a New Whole.